(A note from the future: This was written 6/24/14 and it was never posted and I'm going through and looking at all my old blogs: I can't believe this never got posted! So here is a very long overdue message from 17 year old me).
This blog is long over-due.
Here I have spent 4 years...ranting, raving, contemplating, and miss-spelling all of it on the way down.
Now that I have graduated highschool: it is time to retire this blog. Because this project has been a success: I have indeed survived highschool.
Onto big, better, and spell-checked blogs.
Thank you for dealing with my crap for so long,
Hayley Michelle Trachtenberg
If you want to follow my new adventures: Surviving College: link below!
Sunday, July 22, 2018
The Bittersweet End
(A note from the future: This was written 6/24/14 and it was never posted and I'm going through and looking at all my old blogs: I can't believe this never got posted! So here is a very long overdue message from 17 year old me).
The word tastes bitter in my mouth, almost like a grain of salt.
The syllables are sour as they sit on top of my lips.
It hurt to think of what needs to be said,
This word doesn't want to be said.
It is too hard and too heavy--- to carry it would be a burden, but to speak it would be a sin.
Goodbye is never easy.
In fact there is nothing good about goodbye; a goodbye is an ending. A closing of one chapter--- a death of a friendship, or a memory.
Goodbye is a final declaration.
Our lives are full of goodbyes--- we are always moving towards an ending; a completion.
And now, I have finally come to my first goodbye.
My first goodbye that hurts.
I have spent four years at MCVTS School of Arts.
It has become my home; a part of my skin. I can trace my scars (emotional and physical) back to a single memory or show. I see the folds in my fat and the faces of my friends (it's a weird metaphor, but stick with me here).
In that building and shop I have come to love myself, and thus I have come to love my fellow peers.
My skin feels blank without them. I can't go a conversation without telling a wacky story about Ms.Aladren freaking out or bragging about the amazing shows my co-students produce. My life is just so boring with it.
And now, in less than 24-hours--- it's all going to end.
The word tastes bitter in my mouth, almost like a grain of salt.
The syllables are sour as they sit on top of my lips.
It hurt to think of what needs to be said,
This word doesn't want to be said.
It is too hard and too heavy--- to carry it would be a burden, but to speak it would be a sin.
Goodbye is never easy.
In fact there is nothing good about goodbye; a goodbye is an ending. A closing of one chapter--- a death of a friendship, or a memory.
Goodbye is a final declaration.
Our lives are full of goodbyes--- we are always moving towards an ending; a completion.
And now, I have finally come to my first goodbye.
My first goodbye that hurts.
I have spent four years at MCVTS School of Arts.
It has become my home; a part of my skin. I can trace my scars (emotional and physical) back to a single memory or show. I see the folds in my fat and the faces of my friends (it's a weird metaphor, but stick with me here).
In that building and shop I have come to love myself, and thus I have come to love my fellow peers.
My skin feels blank without them. I can't go a conversation without telling a wacky story about Ms.Aladren freaking out or bragging about the amazing shows my co-students produce. My life is just so boring with it.
And now, in less than 24-hours--- it's all going to end.
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