I'm ugly when i cry

PG=100

Not such a good day today. I am uch a bad mover, i hate it. I want to get better, and i try but its never good enough.
I thought about posting this on the pretty project, but something told me it was alittle to off topic for that blog.
I feel like I disapiont Aldren. I don't know. Ms.Mack had us run fast in circles singing "Mary had a little lamb".
I couldn't do it.
I couldnot keep up with everyone, and i was panting.

And i jsut remeber looknig at Ms.Aladren, sand she looked so disapionted.
Perhaps it's all in my head...but maybe not.
I haven't been myself lately. I'm tired...I used to be such a try hard, but i'm getting B's...i cant sing anymore...i'm jsut mopey and sad. I don't know what's gonig on and i don't know what i'm doing anymore.
I don't know anything.

Aladren also had as do a mask exersize..where we sit face close to the mirror and stare at our own reflecion's eyes for 5 minutes streight.

I looked at myself..all sweaty with my roles of fat hanging out..and i just started crying. I could stop crying until i got back to Aladren's room.
I jsut looked at myself, and i didn't like what i saw.

I think that's the lowest piont anyone can go to...when they can't even like themselves anymore.

And to make matter's worse i got paired up with Kelsey for aprt 2 of the excersize.

Kelsey..is so talented and pretty. And from what i know..she is so confident and happy with herself. We had to see the other person as the new face in the mirror and let it effect us...but yet at the same time, its about the other person...

And that made me cry even harder. Becaseu here is this idea person that i would love to be...
and pretending that that would be what i could see in the mirrror jsut broke me down...becasue i know i can't be that.

And i made her cry. I told her that she was very beautiful. She just stareted crying too. Now great, i'm making everyone cry. God i'm terrible.

In math today, someone said i probably looked ugly when i cry. I'm not sure why we were talknig about it..but we were. And that made me sad.
I didn't cry..because i'm used to things like that..but it hurt alot.

And in Spanish i was talknig to Aleshia about how halloween is the best because tyou get to be a kid again.
I said "Halloween is the best! You get to go out in a scary costumes and get free candy!" and a girl...i can't say her name because i'm not stoping to her level said
"Or you could jsut go outside look ing like that and get fre candy".

I think that hurt the most today...
This girl hates me. I don't even know why! She always talks about me and laughs behind my back in math class...I don't get it.
Why does everyone hate me?
I think it's because i'm loud. I'm trying to change, i really am...but like i said. Nothing i do is ever good enough.

I like Halloween because its the one day i year i get to put on make-up and be someone else .

Hayley Michelle