December 16th ---December 21st

EEP!!! This is a late blog; I've had the worst 2 weeks of my entire life--- endless misery, I think I was hitler in a past life an now I'm suffering for my sins. Anyway this is just a recap on my misery:

MONDAY

PG=100

Went through Swagspeare and fixed up the players names; put the character numbers to each character--- I feel like I did something else but I can't remember.

Oh! Updated my resume and added my reading at Young Playwrights office to the list.

TUESDAY 

PG=100

I had my internship at Young Playwrights, and I got a new commission for a 10-20 minute play--- I have 3 proposals due jan 7th.

Then Kimani and I went to go see Crystal Skillman's "OPEN" and it was bloody fantastic. Of course, I expect nothing short of perfection every time I see something from Crystal: she is always so sweet! We got to talk shop and college--- I get reconnected with Michael Padden, whom I worked briefly with at Samuel French last year--- fun night. 

WEDNESDAY

PG=100

I put a hundred but a deserve a negative  zero and a death sentence. In class---we know what happened in class, but i'll say it anyway: accusations of playgerism were thrown and at the time (I'm typing this Saturday) I did not believe what I did was playgerism (pick up lines situation) so I spent all night writing ms. Aladren my "defense email" and things, gathering up material to prove my innocence--- cried. Alot. More than I normally do- sea of tears. 

THURSDAY

PG=100

Still I deserve a negative million- I'm a horrible human being--- I learned the true  meaning   and laws of playgerism and I spent my entire night crying like a baby. I literally did nothing else. Tears of my enemies because I am public enemy number one. I just lost all respect for myself, but most importantly the respect of Ms. Aladren and all my peers. 

Something from my sophomore year that stuck out to me, came back to my memory today: it is something i will never forget for my entire life--- it was the moment Ms. Aladren told me in front of the entire class that "I write well but--- I just don't like you as a person"---

I have spent 4 years trying to get better--- to improve and earn respect and one stupid mindless mistake that I didn't even know I was doing has ruined all my progress .

Everyone tells me that I have improved so much since freshmen year but today I just feel like that stupid fucking girl from 2010 who is crying in a corner because no one like her---because she makes people not like her. Loathe her. 

Today I was told that I have no morals and I have worked so hard to try and be a human I wanted to win respect and the tile of human being---- but I guess that's the problem. I wanted to win it. It is not all about winning and that makes me an immoral monster.

I started smoking.

Maybe ill die of cancer when I'm 48 if I'm lucky.

FRIDAY

PG=100

I performed in the BENIFIt concert. I was very proud of myself, I didn't cry in public today! I sang my two songs, I had originally  planned for three but I got cut---again: I deserved it though. 

Anyway, I performed my two angry songs. And that was all.

SATURDAY

PG=100

I got an acceptance letter to SUNY Purchase--- I don't know why I'm not happy about it. I told my dad and he started yelling at me because purchase isn't an Ivy League school--- I'm just a disapiontment.

Hopefully next year will be better: I just need to think positive.

There are three types of people in the world:

The optimist who sees the glass half full,

The pessimist who sees the glass half empty,

And the opportunist who is the person who drank the other half of the glass

Then there is me: who might not even be a person at all--- and just a leach that latches onto the world and sucks it of all hope and art.

DECEMBER 8th - DECEMBER 13th

MONDAY 

PG=100

Rehearsal today. I was there.

TUESDAY

PG=100

SNow day: missed my internship ;( I missed my own play reading and I await feedback for new revisions. Whoop.

WEDNESDAY

PG=100

Gave Kimani a music lesson, that was fun. We are trying new teaching methods, because it has been verbalized to me that kimani is more of a hands I learner instead of a vocal/listening learner: so we have her working out the melody and me pitch correcting. I'm not so sure about this, because it is new territory to me, but in willing to try it because I want the best for my students. Just wish that I knew things. Meh.

THURSDAY

PG=1028392749 (so much)

So I taught Jillian a voice lesson today, THEN I went to rehearsal THEN I went to the PTO meeting and organized and filed and mailed letters and things....

So many letters an things....

FRIDAY

PG=100

I have a commission to write a 6 page play, using 3 characters, inspired by the word CRAVE. 

I am doing revisions of my play "THIS IS NOT A PLAY or WRTERS BLOCK: the musical without music"

December 2nd, 2013 - - - December 7th, 2013

MONDAY
PG=100
STAYED AFTER SCHOOL FOR REHERSAL


TUESDAY
PG=100
INTERNSHIP. I got a commission, for a 6 page play, 3 characters and influenced by the word "crave" and I am SO lost on this--- I gotta pull this off: getting a staged reading out of this. XP


WEDNESDAY
PG=100
Gave Kimani a voice lesson. We are working on "Your Father's Son" from Ragtime. Very good song choice, picked by Richard Boizic. I'm helping her learn it and going over a few jazz techniques so---whoop.

THURSDAY
PG=100
Rehersal and Voice lesson with Jillian.
Really proud of her: she has grown so much since our first lesson: she isn't as afraid to try new things as she once was (I really think all that mooing in class was good for her), we started a caver of Fun's "We Are Young", and I challenged her to find a song to mash it up with. We started the first verse and so far so good.
Then I went to rehersal for Swagspeare and worked on some new endings for it.


FRIDAY
PG=100
I had a day of rest; because SAT tomorrow and I want to get into college. I know it's kinda BS, but it is true. My mind's logic is screwy.

GAH- IM A STUPID FUCK: HERE ARE MY BLOGS FOR LAST WEEK (Nov 25th - November 27th)

MONDAY
(it's a monday---)
PG=100

GOAL: Start website/ review and make it not look so conceited.

ACHIEVED? Started? yes. Not self-centered? NO.

I am a selfish fuck. I literally spent an hour just playing with filters for my face and there are a TON of me on there-- so I am selfish. Granted.

I have three pages done. My "home page" which is---not really done. it needs to be less---me. Then my "Bio" page. and then I started this weird portfolio thingy and I thought I would try and be "innovative" and use a picture gallery to talk about my playwrighting---which was a HORRIBLE IDEA.

It's really cool looking, but not very professional---so I gave up on that.
if you want to look at my failure as a person---take a look:

http://editor.wix.com/html/editor/web/renderer/edit/c47998fa-985f-44b3-9e11-684a3e5f9773?metaSiteId=643fd672-ad97-4aff-b459-d017aeb66979&editorSessionId=6BAE9DE4-5C6C-4BDC-9290-686158F9F38C




TUESDAY
PG=100

I HAVE INTERNYTHINGS THIS DAY IN NYC. SO FUCK BLOGGING. SORRY, NOT SORRY!




WEDNESDAY
PG-100

Goal: read/write ALL shakespeare plays for SWAGSPEARE

Acheived? NO---but I have traction

So-----Aladren is trying to kill me. The only logical answer. Aladren came to class for like---2 seconds and told me that I needed to do ALL 33 SHAKESPEARIAN plays for swagspeare....

and then left.

no further explanation.

So I started to read like----- 20 of them----

And I am kinda lost and dazed and word-hungover.
So.
Many.
WORDS.

Gah. it's mid eval torture I tell you.  I read "Tamming of the shrew", ALL THE HISTORIES ( all henry's, richards, and apparently king john's----gah, the worst part of it all), Much Ado, Hamlet, Romeo & Juliet, Tempest, Julius Cesear, Twelth Night, As You Like it, Two Gentlemen of Verona, merchant of Venice, Othello, Love Labor's Lost, Winter's Tale, etc.

TOO MANNY PLAYS.

I have decided to die and become a tree.

I have no clue what to write for Much Ado About Nothing---because I love it just the way it is: i have nothing to say about it....and Merchant of Venice because---honestly? I would do a mash-up of "To succeed on broadway you need jews" from Spamolot, and "springtime for Hitler" from the Producers---put Shakespeare in a swatztikah covered outfit and throw him onto the stage---- but APARENTLLY that's not allowed in a school area.....


so


ya


but like---gah. I'm gonna lose hair over this.

Bad week.

XP =(