PG=100
Im doomed for so many reasons.
1. I have to deal with another phco stalker. Why am i so damn awsome?
2. At this rate i need botox; 6 people this week asked me if i was a teacher or Pregerz. WTF! Do ireally look that old? and secondly; you NEVER ask someone if their preggerz (wich gladly i will NEVER be)
3. Ms. Aladren's grading. its got meh down; im scared sick! I love acting it's my passion (bersides pickles, boys, fashion, music, and animals) but lets face it; i suck monkey ballz. i was just watching my old recordings of monolgues i did in the past; and their crap. like; totally crap. (crap is not a curse word). I still am going onward with my acting; (duh, tahts y i came to this school; TO GET BETTER) but worried at being at the bottom. we are judged on teching 4 senior show case (easy), a 5 page esay (can do it in muh sleep), and 5 minutes of reality.
DAMN
thats whats got me scared stiff. y cant we ever do things that im GOOD at? i dont wanna sound like a little childish, whiney, bitch though...(lol, wich im doing right now). i mean we all have to do things taht we dont like but COME ON! y cant we ever do an excerize where we jsut are angry at someone for no reason? or a scene were we have to suddly break down n cry? no. never. (well not so far, anywayz. lol, i sound bitchY!)Those r things im good at. You see; i bottle up my emotions and then take them out at random strangers; so i can cry/ be angry at the drop of a hat. But im never relaxing or doing the things i fell appropriate for the 5 minutes of relaity.
i dont live in reality; if i did then i wouldnt be acting. 5 minutes in the mourning is supposed to be based off of ur raw moment; when no one's around, and your relaxed.
I dont relax. If i relax my shoulders role foward and my posture is off balance. Im basically a robot. I like being the perfect little girl; with perfect posture, and poise and grace (in which i greatly lack). When im at home; NORMAL PEOPLE relax and let their gut hang out. me? i practice to make sure that never happens. when im home i practice, and practice, and practice and practice. and when i really am doing what i do at home; it comes of showy and preformance like.
but im not.
so that's got me scared stiff. i could pretend to be normal; but it wouldnt be reality. confussed on what to do. AG! but i will find a way to be at the top of that list
I PROMISE YOU
Wish me luck world (boy , will i need it)
Hayley Michelle
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