Kissing both with boobs

PG=100

Angry. yes, very angry.

I dont like being taken advantage of.

Ms. Aladren...you're right.
Boys are a waste of my time, because all they want is a nice shot to your chest.

I mean...i know. I've been through alot of adult situations and i dont like talking about it....but you think the world can change.

Butr it doesn't/
It never will.

People...people only see me as a loud Kissing booth with boobs.

I'm more than that.

I think.
I feell.


I'm smart, you know....Im smarter than any other freshmen in my class. And my theater freshmen are smart too..but i really do think im smarter than them.

I jsut do.
And..and im a nice person too.  i dont curse, and i like animals.

No one really cares about that.
They dont ask me,
"hey hayley, how's your day?"
or..or "Hey hayley, do you like kats?"

No. they say 'Hey Hayley, can i get a picture of boobs?"

All of them.
I mean...WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK IM SOME WHORE?!?!?!?

I jsutr dont understand it.
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN IT TO ME?! CUZ I DONT GET IT.

You say...that love exisits. and the world is kind, and happy ending are real.
But i've been through so much shit...i can belvie in that.

I cant belive in fairy princesses...or true love's kiss...
I belive in fuck and run.
Because i nthe mourning...they wont remeber anything about you, or the moments you shared, or the intemancy and cuddling.the only thing their going to be thinknig is "I jsut got laid. Lets see what else i can get her to do.".

Because guys? are dicks.

I mean, they dont take no for an answer. I'm not a slut. I dont go around having sex. I belive in sex after marrige. But...i've been screwed over so many times....

I think thats why i keep dating. Even thoghu i dont belive in love, or anything...i still do it.

I like getting hurt. And abused by asses.

But why? thats what i dont understand.

I dont really like getting into all of this...because certaint people read my blogs that shouldn't know what happens to me....but this sin't the first time.

And when i say i've been "abused" in relationships....sometimes they're just guys that fallow me around and try to get away with things i wont let.

Its hard, being me.

I remeber, when we first got into the whole matter of love in class. Everyone was out, (senoirs went to Ohio roadtrip). and we were watching 300 days of sumemer.

everyone was saying "Summer's such a terrible person."
But she's not. She's realistic. Because thats real life. She gets it.
And then u i said something, and they all began hating on me. and i tried to explain, and i brought up on how "i've been put in adult situations before" and then Adjenea came in saying "You dont know adult. I've raise kids, and taken care of an entire houshold..and blah blah blah blah".

Thats not what i'm talking about.
Dont you get it? i understand, that she's had it hard....but so have i.
Its hard talking about it...because most say they dont wanna hear it.

Sometimes, i dont even wanna hear it.
Because its har dot belive that somethings happen in the world.
But they do.

Because the world? sucks balls.

And that's the truth: like it or not.

I was reading hamlet today. I dont even remember why, but i was.
To be or not to be: that is the question.

It really is. To live or to die. You can end suffering, so why not? i mean...think about it.
To sleep, forever. to dream, to not be burdened with the hardships of life.....

i got really dark last year...adn things went all kinds of wrong for me....So i answered the question.

To be or not to be..that really is a good question.
I decided not to be.
But i failed at that.
So...here i am....

I mean...now i choose to be...but i sure cant wait until the day i get to find at the correc t answer to this impossible question.
When i get the chance to explore the barren country in which no travller has'th returned from.

Hayley Michelle